Islam and Hypocrisy
Today's post, inspired by the Eliot Spitzer scandal, is about a continuing, serious annoyance of mine, concerning the overwhelming hypocrisy in so many Muslim societies, that tolerate under covers certain activities while pretty much demanding strict adherence to conservative Muslim mores on the outside. Normally I start these posts with an opening that sort of explains why a particular phenomenon is the way it is, but in this case, it should be obvious--the mores they are preaching are basically so impossible to live by in the modern era, the influential would rather profess the impossible and then do what they want behind closed doors than adopt some sensible code normal people could live by.
Say I'm in Jordan, at the Sheraton in Amman with my wife. And teaching her to swim and therefore holding her hands as she is sort of kicking about, she she doesn't fall in. Here's what happens (actually, happened) in supposedly secular Jordan. Some hotel staffer comes over and says you should be ashamed to let her dress like that (because of course my wife obeys me when it comes to her dress--come meet my wife and you'll get disabused of that ridiculous idea), you should be ashamed to be holding hands like this (again, teaching her to swim, can't exactly let go) and you're Arabs and Muslims stop engaging in shameful behavior and ask like decent people.
Five star hotel, you get attitude from the pool boy. Shameful (aib) in Arabic is pretty strong, imagine someone here calling you a rude asshole. But fine, you might say, different countries do different things, we respect the difference.
Only problem is, head to the lobby, and that place has so many Eastern European ladies of the night wandering about. It's not Thailand, they are more discreet, but I've lived in Asia, these are prostitutes.
So as a Muslim you get a bit disturbed. Where's the perspective? I'm making sure my wife doesn't drown, this dude is having sex with a sex worker. Actually you can't see the dude, he's up in his room hiding no doubt, which somehow makes it better.
And if this was about me versus the john, then that's one thing, but the result of the hypocrisy of course is that the weak are screwed. You think the john's wife (he's married, don't worry) gets to do this sort of thing? The lower class worker, what happens to him if he hires a hooker? Of course it's bad, on them we impose the Islamic values. But on the rich, the influential, the connected, well what's the problem with a hired lady and a whiskey anyway. It's repulsive, and it's not just Jordan, that's my story, but you can repeat it pretty much anywhere in the Arab world, and get the same result. Islamic law, as if. It's just a show for some of these folks. They don't want to reform it because they don't have to live by it, they can just impose it on others. Heaven forbid we had a looser code more equally applied.
As another example, Amina Wadud tries to lead a women's prayer in New York, and the negative publicity is incredible. Quite shocking the vitriol. Now this isn't so much my issue, I figure we've got so many women living in such poor conditions in the Muslim world, this isn't worth it for me, but the point is this--if I say my wife swims, if Amina Wadud leads a prayer while fully covered, this is a scandal. Really it's shame to even talk about it. But behind closed doors? Anything goes.
I remember this Gulf Arab Muslim man I knew in NY, worked for a client, going really off on Amina Wadud. Infidel, liar, needs to know a woman's place, her husband needs to show her that place, really nasty stuff. I didn't get it. Found him the next morning, though, at his apartment, where we were meeting for a work appointment. I knocked, his lady for the evening walked out, told me he was too hung over to meet, and to come back at 2 (the things we lawyers do). He wasn't the slightest bit embarrassed when I came back.
Amina Wadud is a devout praying Muslim, this guy is a drunk and a whoremonger. But she's the one destroying Islam. When God, and the striving to see His Face, aren't the issue, but public appearances are, I know, in my own approach to the world, who's the real threat to faith.
HAH
Say I'm in Jordan, at the Sheraton in Amman with my wife. And teaching her to swim and therefore holding her hands as she is sort of kicking about, she she doesn't fall in. Here's what happens (actually, happened) in supposedly secular Jordan. Some hotel staffer comes over and says you should be ashamed to let her dress like that (because of course my wife obeys me when it comes to her dress--come meet my wife and you'll get disabused of that ridiculous idea), you should be ashamed to be holding hands like this (again, teaching her to swim, can't exactly let go) and you're Arabs and Muslims stop engaging in shameful behavior and ask like decent people.
Five star hotel, you get attitude from the pool boy. Shameful (aib) in Arabic is pretty strong, imagine someone here calling you a rude asshole. But fine, you might say, different countries do different things, we respect the difference.
Only problem is, head to the lobby, and that place has so many Eastern European ladies of the night wandering about. It's not Thailand, they are more discreet, but I've lived in Asia, these are prostitutes.
So as a Muslim you get a bit disturbed. Where's the perspective? I'm making sure my wife doesn't drown, this dude is having sex with a sex worker. Actually you can't see the dude, he's up in his room hiding no doubt, which somehow makes it better.
And if this was about me versus the john, then that's one thing, but the result of the hypocrisy of course is that the weak are screwed. You think the john's wife (he's married, don't worry) gets to do this sort of thing? The lower class worker, what happens to him if he hires a hooker? Of course it's bad, on them we impose the Islamic values. But on the rich, the influential, the connected, well what's the problem with a hired lady and a whiskey anyway. It's repulsive, and it's not just Jordan, that's my story, but you can repeat it pretty much anywhere in the Arab world, and get the same result. Islamic law, as if. It's just a show for some of these folks. They don't want to reform it because they don't have to live by it, they can just impose it on others. Heaven forbid we had a looser code more equally applied.
As another example, Amina Wadud tries to lead a women's prayer in New York, and the negative publicity is incredible. Quite shocking the vitriol. Now this isn't so much my issue, I figure we've got so many women living in such poor conditions in the Muslim world, this isn't worth it for me, but the point is this--if I say my wife swims, if Amina Wadud leads a prayer while fully covered, this is a scandal. Really it's shame to even talk about it. But behind closed doors? Anything goes.
I remember this Gulf Arab Muslim man I knew in NY, worked for a client, going really off on Amina Wadud. Infidel, liar, needs to know a woman's place, her husband needs to show her that place, really nasty stuff. I didn't get it. Found him the next morning, though, at his apartment, where we were meeting for a work appointment. I knocked, his lady for the evening walked out, told me he was too hung over to meet, and to come back at 2 (the things we lawyers do). He wasn't the slightest bit embarrassed when I came back.
Amina Wadud is a devout praying Muslim, this guy is a drunk and a whoremonger. But she's the one destroying Islam. When God, and the striving to see His Face, aren't the issue, but public appearances are, I know, in my own approach to the world, who's the real threat to faith.
HAH
Great post -- of course, hypocrisy -- official or otherwise -- is nothing new in overtly religious types, and certainly not limited to Muslims (although there does seem to be a significant amount of community pressure to act more piously than one really is when among Muslims). I hope you complained to the management about the pool boy, and the hookers.
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Actually, I did complain. But the pool boy more or less did precisely what one might expect in hindsight (claimed to management that we were making out in a manner that they wouldn't approve of in Amsterdam--I'm a law professor and of Arab origin--I don't do anything close to that here in the US) and as for the prostitutes, the manager more or less said what I would expect too. How can I check everyone, what if this one woman is married to someone and a registered guest, how do you think she'd react to an accusation, etc. Which is ridiculous--in the first place they ask for your marriage certificate when you check in, so this idea of it's not my business is hard to sustain. Prostitutes aren't your business, but girlfriends are? (Of course, we are Arabs, Westerners never get asked this stuff hence their vision of Jordan as this oasis of secular tolerance.) Secondly, they aren't the only hotel in the world to deal with this delicate balance, hotels the world over are able to work it out. That isn't to say one can't evade detection, Spitzer style. But walk into the Mayflower in DC, and there is no way to know if there are prostitutes wandering about, and it's fair for them to say, we can't possibly police that to a greater extent than we do, it's not our job to be rude to our guests by assuming they are hookers. Absolutely true. But walk into the Amman Sheraton, or the Babylon in Iraq, or the Shangri-la in Jakarta, and you can spot them immediately. A blind eye is deliberately turned to that in the way it wouldn't be in the Mayflower, but to teaching swimming, a different result is reached.
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